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I'm glad you found your way to my funky corner of the Internet.

My name is Charles, my pronouns are he/him (exclusively!!),

and this webpage will contain information about me,

my art and well, thoughts and memories!

I'm a trained graphic designer and freelance artist from Lower Saxony, Germany. I was born in May 1998 (also in Germany!), and I've been living together with my Partner (they/she/he) and our two Cats (Lieselotte -or Lizzy for short- (female) and Milow (male)) in a rather rural area of Lower Saxony since Summer 2022, we're together since 2019 and since 2024, we also have a girlfriend (she/her), who will move in with us soon (either end of 2026 or some time in 2027!). We're very happy together and very much in love! :3

So, well - Yay! Lucky us, I'd say!

Oh, wait, before I start rambling--

Here's a quick heads-up: Some of the content of this webpage may be triggering to some people!

I don't mean this in a condescending way at all, but if you notice that any of the following topics/contents cause

a strong feeling of discomfort or worse, may put you into a state of panic, dissociation or extreme inner tension,

then I will now ask you kindly to leave this webpage until you feel more safe and/or stable. I promise, I won't be upset!

(Let's be real now, I'm not checking who exactly visits and/or stays, so no worries please! Just be safe!!)

Here is the list of content/trigger warnings you should look out and/or be prepared for:

CW/TW List for mothsan.com

- trauma/childhood trauma (generally)

- CSA, COCSA, SA

- grooming

- emotional neglect (especially by parents)

- mobbing by other children (+ neglect by parents/teachers)

- emotionally abusive relationships

- sexually abusive relationships

- accidently harming others due to untreated PTSD

- symptoms of PTSD (general) (includes several, but here: severe depressive episodes, emotionally vulnerable, dissociative episodes and/or emotional shut-downs, temper changes,

nervous ticking and/or spasms, high inner tension/anxiety, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, memory loss/"losing time", physical illness and/or disability, substance abuse and/or easily getting addicted, etc.)

- symptoms of DID/OSDD (above mentioned symptoms + strong and frequent dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, switching personalities/alters,

switch demeanor/behaviour and speech, flashbacks, becoming non-verbal or a non-verbal alter fronting, age-regression (e.g. due to a child alter fronting), etc.)

- long-term effects of any of the aforementioned (for example, a long-term effect of CSA/SA may include but are not limited to:

hypersexuality, severe pain without a clear physicl cause, body malfunctions, changing romantic/sexual partners frequently, people-pleasing, guilt-tripping (of self and/or others, subconsciously or not),

re-traumatizing (subconsciously or not), "collecting diagnosises", self-harm (physically + mentally), suicidal tendencies, suicide ideation, eating disorders (to feel in control), etc.)

- eating disorders (mostly but not necessarily limited to: anorexia, bulimia)

- self-harm (mental, physical) + suicide attempts and suicide ideation

- symptoms of Paranoid Schizophrenia (e.g. paranoia, visual, sensory and auditory hallucinations, disordered thinking, disordered or incomprehensible speech/behaviour,

refusing to accept the diagnosis, refusing to be medicated, strong beliefset of/about things/people/places/facts that are not rooted in (universally known) reality, strong sensitivity to gas-lighting or doubts

of their diagnosis (especially when Patient has accepted diagnosis and is then confronted with this), etc.)

- religious trauma + religious guilt (christianity)

- death/loss (humans, pets, etc.)

All of the above may appear not only in written descriptions but also in painted/drawn artworks.

There are also contents that may upset people or that some people don't want to be confronted with - this is fine, but if any of the following are very uncomfortable for you, consider leaving now as well! Here goes:

LGBTQ+, being transgender and struggling with gender identity and gender labels, experimenting and/or struggling with sexuality and sexuality labels, being open about sexuality/gender/etc. and encouraging open conversation,

insecure body image, struggling with weight, height or other physical features, liberal worldviews, polyamory, neo-pronouns, Otherkin, de- or unreality, behaving/being viewed as "cringe" or "weird",

panic/anxiety disorders, social anxiety, being introverted/awkward and others reaction to this, being fat/overweight, being faced with fatphobia, being openly okay with being fat, medical fatphobia,

facing homophobia, transphobia, right-wing/conservative/capitalist world views (and being upset about it), dealing with sexism/gender norms, being part of the furry community, swearing/strong language, loud noises/talking

If you want to talk about any of these or feel unsure if something may be triggering to you, feel free to communicate your thoughts! I won't judge you if you're honestly worried some of the content here may upset you. :)

Hmm, I think that should be all!

Thank you for making sure that you will feel safe on this webpage! I personally think that, especially since we're currently not really free and safe in the "real" world,

we should at least feel free and safe on the Internet, right? At least as much as possible! So, maybe short and simple:

Blocking is free - and encouraged! Leave if you want or need to!

This is YOUR time on the Internet.

Don't spend it with people or on sites you don't like.

Okay, with that out of the way -- where was I...

Ah, so yeah, let me just start somewhere.

Quick Heads-Up again! From this point on, I will basically just be rambling, sharing ideas, world views and opinions. If you're not interested, feel free to leave this tab for now :3

My name is Charles, and although I was not born with this name, it's the name on my birth certificate - weird way to say I'm trans and have been for a while, buttttt yeah. :'D

My pronouns are he/him, I've experimented with they/them and some neopronouns, but nothing really rings the same - sadly, kind of. Masculinity is quite the difficult topic.

For example: I definitely identify as a man, however, I identify as a TRANSman, specifically. This does, however, not at all change the fact that I am a man now, and that I want to be viewed as a man.

However, if you told me you viewed me as a Cis/Het man, I would probably react with slight shock, confusion or ask how in the world that may have happened.

I don't usually behave very feminine, I don't intentionally behave or talk to out myself as queer, but if you're queer or open to this community, you will probably be able to tell that I am queer.

I'm a fat man with a beard, and while I love how I look now, it took me quite a while to be okay with it. I used to be very much afraid of (fat/chubby) men with a beard due to past traumatic experiences.

I still am not very fond of a lot of men, and you will probably catch me say "I hate men" at some point, especially when I'm pissed at something a man did that was just so typically "man". AAAA.

This includes trans men btw. I don't care what gender or sex or what have you anyone was born as, it genuinely doesn't matter. If I could choose, gender labels probably wouldn't even exist in the way they do now.

If a trans man or transmasculine person behaves, talks, acts like so many cis/het men do - openly abusing their priviledge (usually denying that they're priviledged in the first place) and expecting to always "get a pass"

because of your gender (wether assigned at birth or not), then they're no better, not even slightly. Identifying as trans does not automatically give you an asshole-pass, I'd actually rather say,

since you lived as a woman for some time, you should know how many differences there are being made everyday, despite all humans being equal and nothing in the world should ever be able to change that.

And if you know how it can be, if you know what some - well, most tbh - women have to go through on a daily basis, what they have to endure - don't be bitter, learn from your experiences,

and, just like any human should, contribute to everyone becoming a better whole.

Of course, this isn't easy. Of course, this takes time. The world can never be perfect because this is just not how Nature works, and what are we,

if not a part of Nature, of a system that is bigger and older than all of us combined? There is so many important things in the world, in all the small things, in all the huge things.

Who knows if we get another chance at Life. I don't think we should risk it. Imagine that there is a second life, and you actually get reborn as human, and THEN you end up in a dystopia?!?!

Idk, I'd rather not. I'd rather contribute to the world becoming a place where humans and nature can eventually live together, not only co-exist, but becoming one, kind of.

Less in the utopia sense, more in the way Nature gives and takes away, in the rythm of the seasons and tides, and with all the Ups and Downs that come with being alive.